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What shall we do today Shadow?
The Trials and Tribulations of a Ratty Life
Recent Plotting 
5th-Aug-2009 04:20 pm - That didn't go entirely to plan ...

We may have made a serious miscalculation.

The plan was simple. I was stealthily chewing through the ties that hold up Skolawn's Hammock. I had calculated how long this would take me, and timed the final chew that would break the hammock to happen when the two legs were in the room, so Skolawn would fall while they were watching, thus eliciting lots of sympathy, and guilt that they hadn't secured it properly. While they were fussing over him (as he is very good at eliciting sympathy in this manner, for some reason they seem to be more skeptical when I try it) I could make my break for freedom and they would be too distracted to notice in time to stop me. It was foolproof.

Except that I did not realise that the weight of my brother would mean that the ties would snap all on their own before I was ready and while the two legs were sleeping. It also seems that I miscalculated their intelligence, for they pointed and laughed, and then removed the hammock in it's entirety. It seems they worked out that it had been chewed rather than their inability to tie knots.

The Hammock still has not been returned. Skolawn is not happy with me, as he misses it, and has taken to sitting on my head while I am sleeping instead.

20th-Jul-2009 05:12 pm - Access Granted
The Two Legs disappeared for an entire week! A week! They left us in the care of the enthusiastic two leg, who is far too savvy to our ways and sought to thwart our plans entirely. We missed the complacency of the normal two legs which allows us to get on with things while they are not paying enough attention. Not that we have seen much of the two legs since they reappeared. We do not know what they are up to. Still at least they brought the internet box back out of hiding, so we can sneakily use it again when they are not looking.
It seems that the frantic putting of things into the big black container is a precursor to the disappearing and the arrival of the enthusiastic two leg, so at least next time we are aware of the signs and can make alternative arrangements in time. Also, we have to confess, the enthusiastic two leg does gives us lots and lots of treats, so it isn't all bad. Not that we can be bribed with treats you realise. We're just not going to turn them down when offered ...
10th-Jul-2009 10:07 pm - Strange Behaviour
The two legs are behaving very oddly. The tall two leg has not been seen for two days, and the short two leg is running around a lot and putting things in a big black square object. Add to this the fact that the Great Remover has struck for the second time in a week, and our dinner is late yet again, and we are very suspicious and not liking this. We think the two legs are up to something, and as we don't know what it is, we do not know how it will affect our plans, and this is worrying us.
We shall have to see how this situation develops. We cannot allow the two legs to stop us now.
8th-Jul-2009 10:27 am - King of the Hammock :-)
Shadow is fast asleep so I have my hammock to myself. He's always trying to sneak in when I am otherwise occupied, and it's really hard to get him out once he's in it. He tried to take my breadstick away from me last night, so I feigned disinterest until he got distracted and managed to stash it properly. Hopefully I will have finished most of it before he wakes up and tries to steal it from me again. In the meantime I am happy and comfy in my hammock :-)
6th-Jul-2009 08:43 pm - Stash Denial
The Great Remover has struck again. This is particularly frustrating, as we had an especially crunchy bone stashed out of sight of the two legs. We no longer have said bone. Still, we shall occupy ourselves by rearranging the coloured chew cloth into abstract shapes and marking it once again as our own. This is a small consolation for the loss of the crunchy bone however.
5th-Jul-2009 10:10 pm - It's all in the timing
Skolawn did a very good job today of continuing to convince the two legs that we are not a threat by strategically throwing himself out of his hammock several times and making it look graceless and accidental. It is important that they continue to think of us simply as daft ratties, as this false sense of security allows us the freedom to formulate our plans without their interference.
However we were not so busy formulating plans that we did not notice our dinner was late. There will be repercussions for this transgression.
5th-Jul-2009 12:43 am - Desertion
The two legs were both absent ALL DAY. We do not approve of this, for they should be aware that they are here for our entertainment value. Yes, they left us a big bowl of fresh food, and we might have gorged on the yellow balls far too quickly, but this is NOT THE POINT. So in order to get our own back, we have hidden the short two legs camera cable. It seems our ploy has worked, for she started looking for it almost as soon as she came in, and now seems frustrated. It seems our observations have paid off - for we have often noticed that when the short two legs returns late at night in the wobbly state that she turns on the magic box and uses the camera cable. We might return it tomorrow, if we feel that we get enough attention for the rest of the night. However as we suspect that she will soon disappear into the sleeping room, we might hide it for a little longer ...
3rd-Jul-2009 11:12 pm - Heatwave
Today we have been mostly sleeping. We're not really liking this heat thing, so we are conserving our ratty energies. It gives us time to contemplate the greater mysteries of the rattiverse, as well as the best way to continue chewing through the brown mountain when we are let out later. For some reason the two legs get rather cross with us when they catch us doing this, so we have to wait until they are distracted. It will take longer this way, but we have time.
Ah ha - the two legs left us alone this evening while they drank from the tall cans with another two leg whom we did not recognise - but this is good as it gave us the opportunity to sneak out of the cage and infiltrate this world wide web phenomenon that we have learned so much about from listening to the voices over the last few months ... however after going through all this complicated 'set up' business, we find that we are ready for some more sleep now.
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